My Poems
My time with TCU's English Department has been marked by an uneasy and difficult shift of several dedicated faculty members graduate students to upend the structures of white supremacy that have long permeated American and Western academic systems. Though this work is aimed to bring about valuable and sustaining changes, that extend beyond any surface level placating, the emotional labor can be taxing and give one pause to wonder how long we rail against the gates of institutions that make it clear they don't want us there.
I am a hunter. I am a prey.
I am endangered in the most obsolete way.
My voice is mitigated
My story survives unheard
Find the puzzle of traces
And put them together with your words.
You are hunted. You are preyed.
Resist the temptation to see it any other way
I am endangered in the most obsolete way.
My voice is mitigated
My story survives unheard
Find the puzzle of traces
And put them together with your words.
You are hunted. You are preyed.
Resist the temptation to see it any other way
My story is not as epic or tragic as Imoinda's and of this I am fully aware of the limitations with this comparison. What I hope to make clear is that the world of modernity has shifted and made progress, but at the expense of too much evil wrong-doing that has gone largely ignored in the historical interpretations of what happened. The black Atlantic slave trade, as Paul Gilroy says, was "Capitalism with it's clothes off."
I want to introduce the notion that the ancestors of the black Atlantic slave trade exist in and amongst the black people of the world today. Just as Imoinda worked within her system and fought her battles and raised her voice against the oppressive structures of her time, I am inspired to find a way to parallel in the oppressive structure of academia, her Early Modern example.
I want to introduce the notion that the ancestors of the black Atlantic slave trade exist in and amongst the black people of the world today. Just as Imoinda worked within her system and fought her battles and raised her voice against the oppressive structures of her time, I am inspired to find a way to parallel in the oppressive structure of academia, her Early Modern example.
"They're coming, they're coming"
Told time and again
At what point am I the clown?
Painted smile no matter.
The clown who believes...
(silence)
How long can we survive without reinforcements.
Who works this hard towards an apocalyptic end?
"They're coming, they're coming"
Told time and again
"Just wait, and with patience"
You don't want to offend.
Take pills, be better
They're coming, they're coming
But this time you were too loud.
Conform to our standards and dare not be too proud
Just follow these rules
Just be better
Just do everything right
At what point am I the clown?
Painted smile no matter.
The clown who believes...
This place will get better
Told time and again
At what point am I the clown?
Painted smile no matter.
The clown who believes...
(silence)
How long can we survive without reinforcements.
Who works this hard towards an apocalyptic end?
"They're coming, they're coming"
Told time and again
"Just wait, and with patience"
You don't want to offend.
Take pills, be better
They're coming, they're coming
But this time you were too loud.
Conform to our standards and dare not be too proud
Just follow these rules
Just be better
Just do everything right
At what point am I the clown?
Painted smile no matter.
The clown who believes...
This place will get better
Pulled and pushed on every side the fight for freedom is long
Jeopardized by false promises
They don't even know they play.
That's the game - when the players execute it unaware
"Do everything right, so they can't fault you"
Gets stuck up in your head.
Enchanted by the allure of the lights
Enticed to escape this pain
Promise of ease
Promise of riches
Promise of liberty
If you just do everything right.
Life is but a game.
A Maze. A puzzle to be solved
Left
Right
Left
Promise of fame
Promise of glory
Promise of power
If you just do everything right
Where are the reinforcements?
Freedom is internalized
Freedom is outside the game
Freedom is knowing you will be great when you leave
And you were already great when you came.
Jeopardized by false promises
They don't even know they play.
That's the game - when the players execute it unaware
"Do everything right, so they can't fault you"
Gets stuck up in your head.
Enchanted by the allure of the lights
Enticed to escape this pain
Promise of ease
Promise of riches
Promise of liberty
If you just do everything right.
Life is but a game.
A Maze. A puzzle to be solved
Left
Right
Left
Promise of fame
Promise of glory
Promise of power
If you just do everything right
Where are the reinforcements?
Freedom is internalized
Freedom is outside the game
Freedom is knowing you will be great when you leave
And you were already great when you came.
Fossilized
You have it better than I did.
Oh no, they've worn you down
Your perception of time is too straight
I am not better off than you
My work is different
I am choosing my battles, I am grateful for those who came before
But, I won't bow my head or kneel to their guilt-filled floor
No time to applaud small victories
So much work left undone
Undoing, removing
Too forward, won: back
Time is not linear
I am not singular
I am old.
We are owed.
I am a spirit that culminates my inherited gender
Your crumbs will not suffice
This Sysiphisus appetite
My glories are not my own
This is not just for me.
You have it better than I did.
Oh no, they've worn you down
Your perception of time is too straight
I am not better off than you
My work is different
I am choosing my battles, I am grateful for those who came before
But, I won't bow my head or kneel to their guilt-filled floor
No time to applaud small victories
So much work left undone
Undoing, removing
Too forward, won: back
Time is not linear
I am not singular
I am old.
We are owed.
I am a spirit that culminates my inherited gender
Your crumbs will not suffice
This Sysiphisus appetite
My glories are not my own
This is not just for me.